Things I Wish I Knew BEFORE Prison

If I could sit my 17-year-old self down before that first bus ride to the max yard in Missouri, I’d tell him a few things I didn’t know back then—things that would’ve saved me a lot of pain and maybe even saved my life.

Here’s what prison really teaches you, too late:

Respect Isn’t Given. It’s Earned, Every Day.

In here, nobody cares who you were on the street. Your past don’t mean shit. It’s about how you carry yourself.Say less. Watch more. Mind your business. Speak only when it matters. The loudest dude in the room? Nine times out of ten, he’s the weakest one.

It’s Not About Being the Toughest—It’s About Being the Smartest.

When I was young, I thought I had to fight everyone. Had to prove I wasn’t scared. All that got me was time in the hole and a couple of scars.The real OGs aren’t running their mouth. They’re running their mind. Playing chess while everybody else is playing checkers.

Snitches Get More Than Stitches—They Get History.

That whole “snitches get stitches” saying is real, but it ain’t always physical. Word follows you from yard to yard, from unit to unit. Your name gets written down, passed around. If you snitch once, trust me—it never gets forgotten.

Isolation Will Eat You Alive If You Let It.

Yeah, I’ve spent time in lockdown. Days, weeks, sometimes months with nothing but my own thoughts. If you don’t learn how to keep your mind moving—reading, writing, praying—it’ll eat you. Depression’s real. That silent kind, where nobody knows you’re slipping until you stop getting up.

Time Doesn’t Stop for You.

Out there, people keep living. They have birthdays, holidays, babies, funerals—all without you. That part hurts worse than anything physical.I used to think I’d come home and everything would be like I left it. It won’t. People change. You change. If you don’t prepare for that, it’ll break you.

You Can’t Let Prison Define You—Unless You Want It To.

Some dudes in here gave up. Became their DOC number. Lost every part of themselves that wasn’t about prison life. Me? I’m not perfect, but I’m fighting to still be Ryan. Not just an inmate. Not just a number. A man. A husband. A father.That choice is yours every single day. Be bitter or be better. That’s it.

Don’t Count on the System to Save You.

Mental health. Medical care. Programs.They sound good on paper. But in reality? You have to fight for every little scrap. Write grievances. File complaints. Stay loud about your own life. Because if you don’t, nobody else will.

If you’re young and reading this, thinking prison’s just part of the game—It ain’t.

It’ll change you, sure. But the real truth?It’s up to you how it changes you.

-By Ryan

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