Skip to main content

Until You’ve Walked Through Those Gates, Sit Down and Be Quiet


-By DeAnna

You see memes like this floating around all the time — the ones that crack jokes about how “good” inmates supposedly have it. You know the ones: they talk about sex three times a day, reading books, working out, and then “complaining” about prison life. People laugh, hit share, and feel smug because they think they know something about what it’s like inside.

I used to be one of them. I used to think prison was “right.” I believed it was what people deserved if they broke the law. I repeated the clichés: “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” “Three hots and a cot.” “They’ve got it easy in there.”

And then… I worked there.

Let me tell you something: until you’ve walked through those locking gates — hearing that buzzer, watching that steel door slam behind you, feeling the air shift from free to suffocating — you don’t know a damn thing about prison. Until you’ve seen the reality — the mace, the gas grenades, the cell extractions that leave blood on the floor, the corruption that poisons everything from the inside out — you’re just parroting what you’ve been told.

Prison is not a spa. It’s not summer camp. It’s not a place where people are “living their best lives.” It’s a dehumanizing machine that grinds people down. Food is served from boxes literally labeled NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION. People rot for years in cells the size of closets. Medical care is a coin toss. And the same system that’s supposed to rehabilitate is often the one feeding the very problems it claims to fix.

And if you want to know how inhumane it gets — let me paint you a picture.
I’ve done medical transports where a man was doubled over in agony from a stabbing or clinging to life after a medical emergency. And where do they end up? In a hospital bed, shackled by a wrist and a foot like an animal, trying to heal with cold steel biting into their skin. No dignity. No compassion. Just chains and suspicion, even when they’re fighting for their life.
That’s the reality you don’t see on TV. That’s the truth they don’t show you in the memes.

And here’s another truth that will piss off the peanut gallery: not everyone in there deserves what they were handed. Not every sentence fits the crime. Not every conviction is even rooted in truth. But the system doesn’t care. Once you’re in those walls, the narrative is written for you, and the world outside is more than happy to believe it.

So the next time you want to crack a joke about prison life or spout off tired phrases about “choices” and “consequences,” do us all a favor — unless you’ve walked those tiers, smelled that chow, heard those screams, seen a man shackled to a hospital bed in agony, or looked into the eyes of someone broken by that system… sit down and be quiet.

Because some of us have been there. Some of us do know. And we’re done staying silent while people laugh at pain they don’t understand.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fighting for Ryan: The Battle for His Life Inside Arizona’s Broken System

  I never thought I’d be writing this. Not like this. Not as the wife of the man I used to guard, used to protect. Not as someone on the outside screaming for help that should’ve been automatic on the inside. But here we are. I used to serve this system. Now I’m exposing it. I used to wear the uniform. Sixteen hours a day, six days a week, I walked those same yards. I protected inmates, respected them, loved them—because I knew most of them had never known compassion a day in their life. I saw their pain, their potential, their humanity. And now? Now I’m fighting like hell for the one who stole my heart behind those very walls. My husband is being failed. Deliberately. Repeatedly. Brutally. For days now— too many days —my husband has been locked down in complete isolation under what they call “observation.” No family contact. No personal belongings. No consistent monitoring. No treatment plan. What he’s getting instead? A blanket and a pill. They’re trying to medicate h...

The Truth About Prison Relationships

  by Ryan People love to say things like: “She’ll move on.” “It’s not real love.” “He’s just using her.” “She’s wasting her life.” Let me be clear: They don’t know a damn thing about prison relationships. They don’t know what it’s like to hold onto love through walls,   wire,  and years. They don’t know what it’s like to fall asleep wondering if she’s okay and wake up praying she hasn’t given up on you yet. They don’t know what it takes for a woman to stay committed to a man society already threw away. And they sure as hell don’t know what it’s like to love someone you can’t touch, can’t hold, can’t protect— but still fight for every single day. My relationship isn't built on physical closeness. It’s built on trust. On pain. On redemption. On showing up for each other through letters, through phone calls, through the worst days of our lives. And let me say this loud and clear: She didn’t wait on me. She stood up for me. When I couldn’t speak, she spoke. When I couldn’t be...

Another FBOP Failure: Tammy's Story — When “Funding” Becomes a Death Sentence

  Here we go again. Another woman, another broken promise behind razor wire. Another excuse that starts with “funding” and ends with neglect. Tammy’s story is not new. It’s not unique. And that’s the biggest tragedy of all. Because her life—and her vision—matter. And so does every other person sitting in a Federal Bureau of Prisons (FBOP) facility, hoping for even the most basic human care. Recently, Tammy reached out to share what’s been going on at her facility, and I think it speaks for itself: "Recently I wrote about how the BOP seems to be broke. They took away several items at food service due to funding—like the salad bar (which, by the way, was just plain lettuce mix and generic dressing), they’ve limited eggs (maybe understandable with the bird flu), and removed extra items like beans and rice. What I didn’t mention, but probably should have, is that my prison doesn’t even repurpose leftovers. They literally throw away pounds and pounds of food daily from our kitche...