Love Behind Bars: The Unseen Struggles of a Prison Wife

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." — Joshua 1:9

In today’s post, I delve into a personal aspect of my journey—life as a prison wife to Ryan, intertwined with the knowledge I gained from working within the very system that now holds him. This dual perspective brings unique challenges and insights, painting a raw picture of love and resilience in the face of a deeply flawed system.

Becoming a prison wife after serving as a correctional officer has opened my eyes to the contradictions and injustices that pervade the prison environment. Knowing the inner workings, the politics, and the undercurrents of corruption exacerbates the worry and frustration that come with each day Ryan spends behind bars.

Each morning begins with an undercurrent of anxiety. The routine calls that bridge our worlds are both a lifeline and a reminder of the miles and bars between us. These calls are our moments of normalcy, but they’re always shadowed by the awareness of being monitored, the reality of our words being recorded, a stark contrast to the freedom of privacy we once took for granted.

Visits are a mix of anticipation and dread. I know too well the procedures, the scrutiny of guards, and the oppressive atmosphere that greets me each time. Seeing Ryan in that environment, interacting with him through barriers both physical and regulatory, is a reminder of the power the system holds over our lives. My knowledge of what happens behind the scenes—of how guards can wield their power arbitrarily and how rules can be twisted—adds a layer of helplessness and vigilance to every interaction.

And then there’s the return home, a journey filled with reflections on what’s left behind. I drive away from the stark buildings, aware of the stark realities those walls contain—realities I once oversaw. It’s a drive I've made countless times, each leaving its own scar on the hopeful facade we try to maintain.

Through this blog, I hope to bring to light the day-to-day emotional battles that go unseen by the public and often unacknowledged by those who control the system. It’s not just about the loneliness or the struggle to maintain a relationship across prison walls; it’s about fighting against a system that seems designed to suppress hope at every turn.

As we continue to share and advocate, let’s remember the human element, the personal stories that need a voice. And for those who stand by someone inside, know that your strength, your advocacy, and your love are your power against a system that needs reform. Together, let’s push for a system that uplifts rather than undermines, that respects rather than restrains.