Navigating Love Through Bars: The Early Days of Our Relationship

The early days of our relationship were anything but easy. Falling in love with someone behind bars is not something you can prepare for, and every day felt like navigating uncharted territory. Yet, despite the challenges, our bond only grew stronger.

After deciding to leave my job as a correctional officer, I was filled with both relief and fear. Relief because I could finally let myself love freely, without the constraints of my professional role. Fear because I was stepping into a world of uncertainty, where judgment from others was inevitable, and the path ahead was anything but clear.

But the reality of those early days was even harsher than I anticipated. Ryan and I didn’t get to speak after I quit. In fact, the prison tried to get him to say that I was "coming on to him," and they opened a PREA investigation against me.

For those unfamiliar, the Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA) is a federal law designed to prevent, detect, and respond to sexual abuse and harassment in correctional facilities. When a PREA investigation is opened, the facility investigates any allegations of sexual misconduct. In our case, the prison was looking into whether there had been any inappropriate conduct between Ryan and me. The process was intense and stressful, adding even more strain to an already difficult situation.

On the outside, things weren’t any easier. My then-husband and I were being followed and watched by the prison, and every move I made felt scrutinized. The pressure was immense, and there were days when it felt like the walls were closing in on me.

Our only communication during this time came through Ryan’s parents. Hearing how he was doing from them was both a blessing and a curse. It was a relief to know he was okay, but it was also heartbreaking to be so close yet so far away. We weren’t allowed to speak at all, and that silence was deafening.

Despite all of this, I never lost sight of why I made the choice to be with him. Love isn’t always logical, but it is powerful. And our love, no matter the circumstances, was something worth fighting for.

Those early days were filled with uncertainty and fear, but they also taught us resilience. Even though we couldn’t speak directly, we found ways to stay connected through the love we shared and the strength we found in each other. We made a promise to never give up, no matter how hard things got.

Looking back now, I realize that those early days were the foundation of the life we’ve built together. They taught us patience, endurance, and the true meaning of unconditional love. And even though our journey is far from over, I know that the strength we found during those days will carry us through whatever comes next.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
—Joshua 1:9

Comments

Exposing the Deadly Reality at La Palma Correctional Facility: How Many More Have to Die?

For years, La Palma Correctional Facility in Eloy, Arizona, has been a hotspot for controversy, yet little has been done to address the rampant corruption, officer misconduct, and systemic failures that have turned it into a living hell for those incarcerated within its walls. Most recently, another inmate has died—one of many whose deaths could have been prevented if those in charge had taken real action instead of covering up their negligence. On January 2, 2025, I fought to have my husband moved out of La Palma due to the sheer volume of drugs flooding the yard, which were being brought in by correctional officers. I reported specific names to the Special Security Unit (SSU), thinking that doing the right thing would bring change. Instead, my concerns fell on deaf ears. Now, here we are, with more inmates losing their lives—many of these deaths are suspected overdoses, yet little to no investigation ever seems to result in actual change. A History of Negligence and Deaths This lates...

The Beating You Weren’t Supposed to See: A Former AZDOC Officer Speaks Out

Let me tell you something right now — that viral 3-minute video Fox 10 Phoenix aired last week? That wasn’t the whole story. That was just the tip of the blood-soaked iceberg. As a former Arizona Department of Corrections Officer, I know exactly what you're looking at in that video. You’re seeing the tail end of a brutal, calculated beatdown that started long before the cameras started rolling. That inmate? He’d already been dragged, pummeled, and bled out — by the time he was being chased down the entire length of the prison yard like a damn scene out of a gladiator movie. Fox 10’s report referred to it as a fight that “spilled out into the prison yard.” SPILLED OUT? Like someone knocked over a soda. No — this wasn’t some spontaneous scuffle. That man was hunted . Let’s Break Down the Bullsh*t Donna Hamm’s Comment: “The inmates are running the asylum, and that's not what the taxpayers in Arizona are paying for.” Newsflash: the inmates have always run the yard. Th...

Doing Time on the Outside: The Reality of Being a Prison Wife

"So I know prison wives get a lot of heat from people that don’t understand the life. It’s sad. But we struggle too. We’re serving time too. As much as I love and trust my husband, I will always fact check. These men are survivors with survivor mentality. They’re not in prison for being stand up men 😂 in fact, mine went in a liar and addict. In order to save money, I ask questions. If protecting myself and going behind his back to confirm, oh well. I’ll protect me since he didn’t, wouldn’t and couldn’t… and this is a safe place for LO’s to be able to come together and gather facts without shaming and blaming. A lot of times people will say 'why be with him if you don’t trust him?' That’s fair. But has anyone been in love before 😂 None of us woke up one day and said I’d love to marry a felon. Yet, here we are. I wake up everyday hoping he’d change his lifestyle 🤷🏼‍♀️ I just want women to know it’s okay to be a little on edge. A little apprehensive and untrustworthy. It’...

From Guard to Wife: My Journey in the Shadows of the Justice System

Search This Blog