Advocating for your loved one on the outside is hard enough, but what makes it even more difficult is the retaliation that often happens to them on the inside. It’s one of the harshest realities for families who are trying to do the right thing—supporting their loved ones, standing up for their rights, and ensuring they’re treated fairly. Unfortunately, this advocacy can sometimes result in the exact opposite: mistreatment, rude comments, withholding of personal items, and deliberate ignorance from the staff.
Just yesterday, my husband, Ryan, experienced this firsthand. When Ryan received his personal property, including his wedding ring and a receipt for both the ring and his Bible, the correctional officer informed him that he couldn’t have his Bible because it was a hardback. This wouldn’t seem like a huge issue to most, but for Ryan—who is currently in protective custody due to being attacked by another inmate—it’s a direct deprivation of a crucial source of spiritual support.
I believe this violates his First Amendment right to the free exercise of religion. He wasn’t being punished or held in detention; he was simply in protective custody, trying to stay safe. Yet, he was being deprived of one of the few things that can provide him with peace of mind and faith during this difficult time. What’s worse is that when Ryan and his cellmate pointed out that his cellmate had a hardback book obtained from downstairs, the officer confiscated that book as well, making the entire situation seem retaliatory and punitive.
And that wasn’t the end of it. The officer made a sarcastic comment to Ryan, saying, “I guess if you bitch enough, you get stuff done around here.” This unprofessional remark only added to the feeling that Ryan was being targeted due to my advocacy on his behalf. The disrespect and retaliation were palpable.
Later, a CO3 came to address Ryan’s “tablet issues” and made another unnecessary comment, saying something along the lines of, “Your wife has been making calls about…” This clearly showed that my efforts to advocate for my husband’s rights were not only being noticed but used against him.
Ryan then explained that I had been deleted from his tablet account, our messages had been erased, and all the pictures I sent him were gone. The CO3 mentioned that Securus Administrative is looking into this issue, and we are currently awaiting a response. But the damage is done—our personal communication and connection were wiped out, adding to our already overwhelming concerns about Ryan’s treatment and his access to basic rights.
And this isn’t the first time we’ve been harassed or retaliated against by the system. Both Ryan and I have experienced this before. I am in regular contact with Constituent Services, the incorrect warden, and incorrect deputy wardens listed on the CoreCivic website as points of contact for this prison. I’ve even reached out to Governor Katie Hobbs, only to receive automated responses confirming that my messages have been received.
I’m doing everything I can to advocate for Ryan, but it feels like we’re up against an unyielding system designed to silence and intimidate those who speak up. Whether it’s withholding his Bible, deleting our communication, or making dismissive comments, the pattern is clear: advocating for your loved one can make them a target for even more mistreatment.
This isn’t just a story about a Bible and some deleted messages. This is about the broader issue of retaliation that happens when families like mine advocate for the ones we love. It’s about the emotional toll it takes on both the inmate and the family on the outside, who are just trying to ensure their loved one is treated with dignity.
The question remains: Why should advocating for someone’s rights lead to punishment? And how long do we have to fight this battle before those on the inside receive the basic respect and humanity they deserve?
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