Skip to main content

Advocating for Your Loved One: The Harsh Reality of Retaliation from Prison Staff


Advocating for your loved one on the outside is hard enough, but what makes it even more difficult is the retaliation that often happens to them on the inside. It’s one of the harshest realities for families who are trying to do the right thing—supporting their loved ones, standing up for their rights, and ensuring they’re treated fairly. Unfortunately, this advocacy can sometimes result in the exact opposite: mistreatment, rude comments, withholding of personal items, and deliberate ignorance from the staff.

Just yesterday, my husband, Ryan, experienced this firsthand. When Ryan received his personal property, including his wedding ring and a receipt for both the ring and his Bible, the correctional officer informed him that he couldn’t have his Bible because it was a hardback. This wouldn’t seem like a huge issue to most, but for Ryan—who is currently in protective custody due to being attacked by another inmate—it’s a direct deprivation of a crucial source of spiritual support.

I believe this violates his First Amendment right to the free exercise of religion. He wasn’t being punished or held in detention; he was simply in protective custody, trying to stay safe. Yet, he was being deprived of one of the few things that can provide him with peace of mind and faith during this difficult time. What’s worse is that when Ryan and his cellmate pointed out that his cellmate had a hardback book obtained from downstairs, the officer confiscated that book as well, making the entire situation seem retaliatory and punitive.

And that wasn’t the end of it. The officer made a sarcastic comment to Ryan, saying, “I guess if you bitch enough, you get stuff done around here.” This unprofessional remark only added to the feeling that Ryan was being targeted due to my advocacy on his behalf. The disrespect and retaliation were palpable.

Later, a CO3 came to address Ryan’s “tablet issues” and made another unnecessary comment, saying something along the lines of, “Your wife has been making calls about…” This clearly showed that my efforts to advocate for my husband’s rights were not only being noticed but used against him.

Ryan then explained that I had been deleted from his tablet account, our messages had been erased, and all the pictures I sent him were gone. The CO3 mentioned that Securus Administrative is looking into this issue, and we are currently awaiting a response. But the damage is done—our personal communication and connection were wiped out, adding to our already overwhelming concerns about Ryan’s treatment and his access to basic rights.

And this isn’t the first time we’ve been harassed or retaliated against by the system. Both Ryan and I have experienced this before. I am in regular contact with Constituent Services, the incorrect warden, and incorrect deputy wardens listed on the CoreCivic website as points of contact for this prison. I’ve even reached out to Governor Katie Hobbs, only to receive automated responses confirming that my messages have been received.

I’m doing everything I can to advocate for Ryan, but it feels like we’re up against an unyielding system designed to silence and intimidate those who speak up. Whether it’s withholding his Bible, deleting our communication, or making dismissive comments, the pattern is clear: advocating for your loved one can make them a target for even more mistreatment.

This isn’t just a story about a Bible and some deleted messages. This is about the broader issue of retaliation that happens when families like mine advocate for the ones we love. It’s about the emotional toll it takes on both the inmate and the family on the outside, who are just trying to ensure their loved one is treated with dignity.

The question remains: Why should advocating for someone’s rights lead to punishment? And how long do we have to fight this battle before those on the inside receive the basic respect and humanity they deserve?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fighting for Ryan: The Battle for His Life Inside Arizona’s Broken System

  I never thought I’d be writing this. Not like this. Not as the wife of the man I used to guard, used to protect. Not as someone on the outside screaming for help that should’ve been automatic on the inside. But here we are. I used to serve this system. Now I’m exposing it. I used to wear the uniform. Sixteen hours a day, six days a week, I walked those same yards. I protected inmates, respected them, loved them—because I knew most of them had never known compassion a day in their life. I saw their pain, their potential, their humanity. And now? Now I’m fighting like hell for the one who stole my heart behind those very walls. My husband is being failed. Deliberately. Repeatedly. Brutally. For days now— too many days —my husband has been locked down in complete isolation under what they call “observation.” No family contact. No personal belongings. No consistent monitoring. No treatment plan. What he’s getting instead? A blanket and a pill. They’re trying to medicate h...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Truth About Prison Relationships

  by Ryan People love to say things like: “She’ll move on.” “It’s not real love.” “He’s just using her.” “She’s wasting her life.” Let me be clear: They don’t know a damn thing about prison relationships. They don’t know what it’s like to hold onto love through walls,   wire,  and years. They don’t know what it’s like to fall asleep wondering if she’s okay and wake up praying she hasn’t given up on you yet. They don’t know what it takes for a woman to stay committed to a man society already threw away. And they sure as hell don’t know what it’s like to love someone you can’t touch, can’t hold, can’t protect— but still fight for every single day. My relationship isn't built on physical closeness. It’s built on trust. On pain. On redemption. On showing up for each other through letters, through phone calls, through the worst days of our lives. And let me say this loud and clear: She didn’t wait on me. She stood up for me. When I couldn’t speak, she spoke. When I couldn’t be...
Post a Comment
Read more

Another FBOP Failure: Tammy's Story — When “Funding” Becomes a Death Sentence

  Here we go again. Another woman, another broken promise behind razor wire. Another excuse that starts with “funding” and ends with neglect. Tammy’s story is not new. It’s not unique. And that’s the biggest tragedy of all. Because her life—and her vision—matter. And so does every other person sitting in a Federal Bureau of Prisons (FBOP) facility, hoping for even the most basic human care. Recently, Tammy reached out to share what’s been going on at her facility, and I think it speaks for itself: "Recently I wrote about how the BOP seems to be broke. They took away several items at food service due to funding—like the salad bar (which, by the way, was just plain lettuce mix and generic dressing), they’ve limited eggs (maybe understandable with the bird flu), and removed extra items like beans and rice. What I didn’t mention, but probably should have, is that my prison doesn’t even repurpose leftovers. They literally throw away pounds and pounds of food daily from our kitche...
Post a Comment
Read more