Skip to main content

Judged, Ridiculed, and Happier Than Ever


People love to pass judgment. It’s almost second nature to them—to look at a situation from the outside and assume they know the full story. I’ve been judged more in the past year than in my entire life combined. I’ve been ridiculed, abandoned, labeled, and written off as someone I am not, all because of the choices I’ve made—choices that, in the eyes of others, were wrong. But in my heart, I know they were right.

I left a marriage that no longer served either of us. We grew apart, and I refused to stay in something that was empty. And then I fell in love—with a man who has been to hell and back, a man society looks at and instantly dismisses because of his past. My husband is a recovering addict. He relapsed, he got arrested, and because I was in the car with him that night, I got arrested too. A guilty-by-association situation that changed the course of my life, but not in the way people think.

For the past year, I have lived alone, feeling the sting of judgment in every aspect of my life. I have seen friends walk away, family members shake their heads, and people assume I am a bad person simply because I love someone they don’t approve of. It would be easy to break under the weight of it all, to let the world convince me that their version of my life is the truth.

But here’s the reality: I am the happiest I have ever been.

Loving my husband, despite his screw-ups, despite his past, despite the whispers and the disapproving stares, has given me something I never had before—peace. He is my soulmate. He is not perfect, but neither am I. The world can try to define me by my lowest moment, but I refuse to be confined by it.

This past year, I have not only learned the depths of human judgment but also the power of self-acceptance. I have found me in all the chaos. I have learned that people will always have something to say, but their words do not define my life. Only I do.

So, to anyone reading this who feels judged, who feels abandoned for the choices they’ve made, who feels like the world is against them for loving someone others deem unworthy—stand strong. No one else has to live your life. No one else has to walk your path. And if you have found love, real love, then you have found something most people spend their entire lives searching for.

Let them judge. Let them whisper. At the end of the day, happiness is not found in their approval—it’s found in living your truth.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Exposing the Deadly Reality at La Palma Correctional Facility: How Many More Have to Die?

For years, La Palma Correctional Facility in Eloy, Arizona, has been a hotspot for controversy, yet little has been done to address the rampant corruption, officer misconduct, and systemic failures that have turned it into a living hell for those incarcerated within its walls. Most recently, another inmate has died—one of many whose deaths could have been prevented if those in charge had taken real action instead of covering up their negligence. On January 2, 2025, I fought to have my husband moved out of La Palma due to the sheer volume of drugs flooding the yard, which were being brought in by correctional officers. I reported specific names to the Special Security Unit (SSU), thinking that doing the right thing would bring change. Instead, my concerns fell on deaf ears. Now, here we are, with more inmates losing their lives—many of these deaths are suspected overdoses, yet little to no investigation ever seems to result in actual change. A History of Negligence and Deaths This lates...

Another FBOP Failure: Tammy's Story — When “Funding” Becomes a Death Sentence

  Here we go again. Another woman, another broken promise behind razor wire. Another excuse that starts with “funding” and ends with neglect. Tammy’s story is not new. It’s not unique. And that’s the biggest tragedy of all. Because her life—and her vision—matter. And so does every other person sitting in a Federal Bureau of Prisons (FBOP) facility, hoping for even the most basic human care. Recently, Tammy reached out to share what’s been going on at her facility, and I think it speaks for itself: "Recently I wrote about how the BOP seems to be broke. They took away several items at food service due to funding—like the salad bar (which, by the way, was just plain lettuce mix and generic dressing), they’ve limited eggs (maybe understandable with the bird flu), and removed extra items like beans and rice. What I didn’t mention, but probably should have, is that my prison doesn’t even repurpose leftovers. They literally throw away pounds and pounds of food daily from our kitche...

Until You’ve Walked Through Those Gates, Sit Down and Be Quiet

-By DeAnna You see memes like this floating around all the time — the ones that crack jokes about how “good” inmates supposedly have it. You know the ones: they talk about sex three times a day, reading books, working out, and then “complaining” about prison life. People laugh, hit share, and feel smug because they think they know something about what it’s like inside. I used to be one of them. I used to think prison was “right.” I believed it was what people deserved if they broke the law. I repeated the clichés: “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” “Three hots and a cot.” “They’ve got it easy in there.” And then… I worked there. Let me tell you something: until you’ve walked through those locking gates — hearing that buzzer, watching that steel door slam behind you, feeling the air shift from free to suffocating — you don’t know a damn thing about prison. Until you’ve seen the reality — the mace, the gas grenades, the cell extractions that leave blood on the floor, the...