I Was a Drug Addict Long Before They Locked Me Up

People think prison made me an addict. I hear that all the time.Let me set the record straight: I was a drug addict long before they ever slapped cuffs on me.

You want to know the real story? I was thirteen years old when I got my first hit. And it wasn’t some back-alley deal or some shady friend that put me on. It was my own father.

He shot me up himself. First time. Meth. Said it would make me feel better. Said it would help me forget. And it did—for a while. Until forgetting was the only thing I knew how to do.

From that moment on, I wasn’t living—I was running. Running from myself, my past, the pain I didn’t even have the words for yet. Drugs weren’t a party for me. They weren’t about fun or getting high. They were about surviving the only way I’d ever been taught.

By the time I hit seventeen, I’d been in and out of juvie. I’d already seen things most grown men wouldn’t believe. And I was strung out—bad. The kind of strung out where you forget to eat. Where you don’t care if you wake up. Where you steal from people who love you because all you can hear is that voice in your head saying one more hit, just one more.

When they finally locked me up, I wasn’t surprised. Truth is, a part of me was relieved. You get tired of running. You get tired of hurting everybody around you. But here’s what they don’t tell you about prison:

It doesn’t fix addiction. It buries it.

You detox behind concrete walls and steel bars. You shake. You sweat. You scream inside your head. And no one cares. There’s no treatment unless you fight for it—and most don’t. They just trade one poison for another. K2. Pruno. Pills they buy off the yard. Anything to fill that hole.

I’ve seen grown men cry like babies in their bunks because they can’t get right. I’ve seen kids—just like I was—coming in dope-sick and leaving worse than they came in.

That’s the cycle nobody wants to talk about.That’s the reality they don’t show on TV.

I didn’t start getting clean because of prison. I started getting clean because I finally got tired of burying myself while I was still breathing. And it ain’t been perfect. I’ve relapsed. I’ve lost myself a thousand times. But every time I get back up—that’s the fight.

If you’re out there thinking prison’s the answer for addiction, hear me clear:Locking someone in a cage doesn’t heal them. It just hides the wound until it festers.

If you really want to help somebody like me, don’t ask what we did.Ask why we needed to escape in the first place.

#BehindBarsUnfiltered #PrisonStopsNothing #FromAddictToAdvocate #PrisonReformNow #MassIncarceration #EndTheStigma #AddictionIsNotACrime #HumanBehindTheNumber #RealStoriesRealPeople #JusticeForAll #VoicesFromTheInside #PrisonIsNotTreatment #FamiliesOfTheIncarcerated #SecondChancesMatter #SpeakTruthToPower

Comments

Exposing the Deadly Reality at La Palma Correctional Facility: How Many More Have to Die?

For years, La Palma Correctional Facility in Eloy, Arizona, has been a hotspot for controversy, yet little has been done to address the rampant corruption, officer misconduct, and systemic failures that have turned it into a living hell for those incarcerated within its walls. Most recently, another inmate has died—one of many whose deaths could have been prevented if those in charge had taken real action instead of covering up their negligence. On January 2, 2025, I fought to have my husband moved out of La Palma due to the sheer volume of drugs flooding the yard, which were being brought in by correctional officers. I reported specific names to the Special Security Unit (SSU), thinking that doing the right thing would bring change. Instead, my concerns fell on deaf ears. Now, here we are, with more inmates losing their lives—many of these deaths are suspected overdoses, yet little to no investigation ever seems to result in actual change. A History of Negligence and Deaths This lates...

Another FBOP Failure: Tammy's Story — When “Funding” Becomes a Death Sentence

Here we go again. Another woman, another broken promise behind razor wire. Another excuse that starts with “funding” and ends with neglect. Tammy’s story is not new. It’s not unique. And that’s the biggest tragedy of all. Because her life—and her vision—matter. And so does every other person sitting in a Federal Bureau of Prisons (FBOP) facility, hoping for even the most basic human care. Recently, Tammy reached out to share what’s been going on at her facility, and I think it speaks for itself: "Recently I wrote about how the BOP seems to be broke. They took away several items at food service due to funding—like the salad bar (which, by the way, was just plain lettuce mix and generic dressing), they’ve limited eggs (maybe understandable with the bird flu), and removed extra items like beans and rice. What I didn’t mention, but probably should have, is that my prison doesn’t even repurpose leftovers. They literally throw away pounds and pounds of food daily from our kitche...

Until You’ve Walked Through Those Gates, Sit Down and Be Quiet

-By DeAnna You see memes like this floating around all the time — the ones that crack jokes about how “good” inmates supposedly have it. You know the ones: they talk about sex three times a day, reading books, working out, and then “complaining” about prison life. People laugh, hit share, and feel smug because they think they know something about what it’s like inside. I used to be one of them. I used to think prison was “right.” I believed it was what people deserved if they broke the law. I repeated the clichés: “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” “Three hots and a cot.” “They’ve got it easy in there.” And then… I worked there. Let me tell you something: until you’ve walked through those locking gates — hearing that buzzer, watching that steel door slam behind you, feeling the air shift from free to suffocating — you don’t know a damn thing about prison. Until you’ve seen the reality — the mace, the gas grenades, the cell extractions that leave blood on the floor, the...

From Guard to Wife: My Journey in the Shadows of the Justice System

Search This Blog