Be Careful What You Call Redemption

 -by Ryan

You ever notice how fast people throw the word “redemption” around?

Like it’s a prize you win.
Like you hit a certain checkpoint in life, level up, and boom—you’re redeemed.
Nah. Let me set the record straight:

Redemption is a war.
A daily, bloody, internal war.
And it doesn’t come with parades or pats on the back.
It comes with people questioning your motives.
It comes with the system doubling down on your past.
It comes with silence from the ones who promised to be there, and fake smiles from the ones watching you like a damn hawk, waiting for you to slip so they can say, “See? I knew he couldn’t change.”

Let me tell you something: I’m still in that war.
And just because I haven’t lost yet, doesn’t mean it’s been easy.

I’m not out here claiming sainthood. Hell no.
I’ve done dirt. I’ve hurt people. I’ve made choices that chained me to this life.
But you know what else I’ve done?

I’ve owned it.
I’ve sat in cells most men would lose their mind in, facing every ghost I ran from for over a decade.
I’ve cried like a damn child in the middle of the night, wondering if anyone out there really sees me anymore.
And I’ve held onto hope like it’s the only thing that can’t be stripped from me.

You know why?

Because there’s a woman out there who sees me now.
Not the felon. Not the addict. Not the inmate.
She sees me—Ryan. The man, not the mistake.

And for the first time in my life, I want to live like I deserve that love.

But here’s the thing most people don’t understand:
Redemption doesn’t happen once. It happens every day.

Every time I choose silence over rage.
Every time I let go of my pride and admit I’m wrong.
Every time I get up, even when there’s no reason left to.

It’s not glamorous.
It’s not some teary movie ending.
It’s raw, repetitive, painful work.

But if you’re out there reading this, and you’re in that fight too—I see you.
You’re not weak. You’re not broken beyond repair.
You’re just healing in a world that profits off your pain.

Keep going anyway.

Because redemption isn’t about being forgiven by others—it’s about forgiving yourself enough to believe you can still build something beautiful out of the wreckage.

And trust me... I’m still building.

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#BehindBarsUnfiltered #RedemptionIsWar #StillBuilding #HealingOutLoud #YouAreNotYourMistakes