Concrete Walls, Clear Mind

 

-by Ryan 

Let me tell you something they don’t want you to know:

Prison doesn’t break everybody.
Sometimes, it sharpens you.

Not in the way they think—fists up, cold heart, dead eyes.
Nah.
I’m talking about a different kind of sharp.
The kind that happens when you’re forced to sit still in a world built on chaos. When you're stripped of everything but your thoughts. When silence isn’t peace—it’s pressure.

That’s where I’m at right now.

Still in the hole. Still in max. Still being punished for a label I didn’t ask for and a past I’m no longer living in.
But for the first time in a long time, my mind is clear as glass.

You’d think after all this time, all this isolation, all this retaliation, I’d be angry. And I am. Don’t get it twisted. But underneath that? There’s clarity. There’s purpose. There’s a shift happening inside me that no amount of lock-down can stop.

You know what happens when you’re forced to spend 23 hours a day with nothing but a bunk and your own demons? You either lose it… or you face it.

And I’ve been facing it.

All of it.
The trauma.
The abandonment.
The mistakes.
The lies I told myself and the lies they told about me.
The little boy who was never protected.
The young man who stopped caring.
And the grown-ass man who finally found someone worth becoming better for.

Her name is DeAnna.
She didn’t just believe in me when I was down—she’s been fighting for me when I didn’t even have the words to fight for myself.

And that? That kind of love rewires a man.

I’m done wasting time trying to prove myself to a system that made its mind up about me before I ever stepped off the bus.
Now? I’m proving myself to me.
To her.
To the version of myself I’m becoming.

I used to think the real world was “out there.”
But the truth is, the realest shit I’ve ever had to face has been right here—in four concrete walls, with nothing but truth echoing back at me.

So if you’re wondering where I’ve been—this is it.

In the pressure cooker.
Where they hoped I’d crack, I’m crystallizing.
Where they tried to silence me, I’m finding my real voice.

And when that door opens again, whenever that is—
I won’t be the man they locked up.

I’ll be the one they tried to keep from existing.

—
#BehindBarsUnfiltered #ConcreteClarity #PressureBuildsDiamonds #NotWhoIWas #StillRising