From Guard to Wife: My Journey in the Shadows of the Justice System

  One of the most persistent lies in the AZDOC narrative is the idea that structure equals support. It sounds reasonable on the surface. Prisons are highly structured environments, and structure is often framed as a stabilizing force. The problem is that structure, by itself, doesn’t build capacity. It only controls behavior while it’s present. Arizona Department of Corrections relies heavily on structure and then acts surprised when people collapse the moment that structure disappears. That surprise is either willful ignorance or a refusal to look honestly at how human beings actually function. Inside prison, nearly every aspect of life is dictated externally. When to wake up. When to eat. Where to stand. When to speak. What consequences follow even minor deviations. That level of control can create the illusion of stability. Behavior appears regulated because choice has been removed. But regulation that only exists under constant supervision is not regulation at all. It’s comp...

  Once you understand that AZDOC punishes trauma and replaces accountability with punishment, the next failure becomes impossible to ignore. The system doesn’t actually measure rehabilitation at all. It measures obedience—and then pretends the two are the same thing. Arizona Department of Corrections points to “good behavior” as evidence that its approach works. Fewer write-ups. Fewer incidents. Less visible disruption. On paper, that looks like progress. In reality, it’s just silence under pressure. Obedience answers a very narrow question: did the person comply? Rehabilitation asks something much harder: can this person function differently when the pressure is gone? AZDOC rarely asks the second question, because obedience is easy to track and rehabilitation isn’t. One fits neatly into reports and metrics. The other requires time, nuance, and an understanding of human behavior that the system has never prioritized. Inside prison, “good behavior” often has nothing to do with ...

  If punishment were actually about accountability, yesterday’s system would work. It doesn’t. So today we need to name the real problem:  AZDOC doesn’t recognize trauma. It punishes it. And once you understand that, everything else about the system’s failure makes perfect sense. Trauma and Defiance Are Not the Same Thing — AZDOC Treats Them Like They Are Trauma responses look a lot like rule-breaking to people who don’t understand human behavior. Hypervigilance looks like aggression Emotional shutdown looks like refusal Anxiety looks like noncompliance Survival instincts look like disrespect AZDOC does not ask why behavior is happening. It only asks whether a rule was violated. That distinction matters — because trauma is not a choice. Defiance is. When a system treats involuntary trauma responses as intentional misconduct, it guarantees punishment instead of progress. The Nervous System Doesn’t Care About Rules Most people inside AZDOC do not have...