Skip to main content

When “I Hear You” Isn’t Enough: What It Really Means to Support Someone in Prison


There’s something I’ve learned in this journey standing beside my husband while he’s locked down. And no, I’m not talking about sending money or buying quarterly packages or making sure he has socks on commissary. I’m talking about emotional support. The kind that doesn’t show up in a bank ledger, but shows up in someone’s soul.

My husband wrote his sister the other day. Poured his heart out. Told her how he felt completely forgotten by his family. Explained how he was facing going back to max—23 hours a day locked in a box. How isolating that is. How heavy that feels. How even though he knows he’s made mistakes, he still hopes someone out there cares enough to ask how he’s really doing.

Her response?

“I hear you. Love you.”

That was it.

And I’ll be real with you—he was devastated.

See, here’s the thing people don’t get: my husband doesn’t need sympathy. He needs connection. He already knows he messed up from 13 years old to 25. He knows the choices he made landed him exactly where he is. What breaks him down isn’t the sentence—it’s the silence.

Let me ask y’all something:

Do you actually know what’s going through his mind?
Do you have even the slightest clue why he started using drugs to begin with?
Why he relapsed?
Why he’s been in and out of prison all these years?

No. You don’t.

Because you never cared enough to ask. You’re too busy scrolling my blogs, judging from the sidelines, calling me a liar—while everything I write comes straight from his mouth. Things he’s finally been able to open up about because he knows I’m not here to hurt him. I’m here to love him.

And hear me loud and clear—I am his WIFE. His rock. His world. I am the one person in his life who has taken the time to talk to him, listen to him, understand him.

Is it always easy? Hell no. Loving a man who’s been through what he has isn’t some fairy tale. He’s complicated. He’s stubborn. Sometimes he pushes back harder than I think my heart can handle. But is he worth it?

Abso-fucking-lutely he is.

And y’all are missing out on the man he’s becoming because you can’t see past the man he was.

You said to him yourselves, “We have our own families now.”
Well, newsflash—so does he.

He’s a married man now. And in that, he’s found his real family. The one that doesn’t turn their back when things get hard. The one that holds on even tighter when everyone else walks away.

So while you sit back and watch from a distance, questioning me, questioning him, just know:

We don’t need your validation.
We don’t need your approval.
But he deserves better. And whether you show up or not, I always will.

And go ahead—share this with everyone. Post it. Print it out. Screenshot it. Whatever gets it across. Because in the end, I won’t back down. I WILL keep telling his story. I WILL keep standing beside him mentally, emotionally—through every milestone he faces, good or bad.

And here’s the real truth:
In the end, I’m the one who wins.

Not because it’s about proving anything to anybody else, but because I love him—fully, fiercely, unconditionally. And he not only knows it. He feels it.

Actions speak louder than words. Always have. Always will.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Exposing the Deadly Reality at La Palma Correctional Facility: How Many More Have to Die?

For years, La Palma Correctional Facility in Eloy, Arizona, has been a hotspot for controversy, yet little has been done to address the rampant corruption, officer misconduct, and systemic failures that have turned it into a living hell for those incarcerated within its walls. Most recently, another inmate has died—one of many whose deaths could have been prevented if those in charge had taken real action instead of covering up their negligence. On January 2, 2025, I fought to have my husband moved out of La Palma due to the sheer volume of drugs flooding the yard, which were being brought in by correctional officers. I reported specific names to the Special Security Unit (SSU), thinking that doing the right thing would bring change. Instead, my concerns fell on deaf ears. Now, here we are, with more inmates losing their lives—many of these deaths are suspected overdoses, yet little to no investigation ever seems to result in actual change. A History of Negligence and Deaths This lates...
2 comments
Read more

The Beating You Weren’t Supposed to See: A Former AZDOC Officer Speaks Out

  Let me tell you something right now — that viral 3-minute video Fox 10 Phoenix aired last week? That wasn’t the whole story. That was just the tip of the blood-soaked iceberg. As a former Arizona Department of Corrections Officer, I know exactly what you're looking at in that video. You’re seeing the tail end of a brutal, calculated beatdown that started long before the cameras started rolling. That inmate? He’d already been dragged, pummeled, and bled out — by the time he was being chased down the entire length of the prison yard like a damn scene out of a gladiator movie. Fox 10’s report referred to it as a fight that “spilled out into the prison yard.” SPILLED OUT? Like someone knocked over a soda. No — this wasn’t some spontaneous scuffle. That man was hunted . Let’s Break Down the Bullsh*t Donna Hamm’s Comment: “The inmates are running the asylum, and that's not what the taxpayers in Arizona are paying for.” Newsflash: the inmates have always run the yard. Th...
Post a Comment
Read more

Doing Time on the Outside: The Reality of Being a Prison Wife

"So I know prison wives get a lot of heat from people that don’t understand the life. It’s sad. But we struggle too. We’re serving time too. As much as I love and trust my husband, I will always fact check. These men are survivors with survivor mentality. They’re not in prison for being stand up men 😂 in fact, mine went in a liar and addict. In order to save money, I ask questions. If protecting myself and going behind his back to confirm, oh well. I’ll protect me since he didn’t, wouldn’t and couldn’t… and this is a safe place for LO’s to be able to come together and gather facts without shaming and blaming. A lot of times people will say 'why be with him if you don’t trust him?' That’s fair. But has anyone been in love before 😂 None of us woke up one day and said I’d love to marry a felon. Yet, here we are. I wake up everyday hoping he’d change his lifestyle 🤷🏼‍♀️ I just want women to know it’s okay to be a little on edge. A little apprehensive and untrustworthy. It’...
Post a Comment
Read more