From Guard to Wife: My Journey in the Shadows of the Justice System

  As a prison wife, the struggles of navigating a system that often feels unjust and dehumanizing are far too familiar. My husband has been incarcerated at Red Rock Correctional Center, operated by CoreCivic, since August 12, 2024. In these few short weeks, we've experienced firsthand the disturbing reality of how frequently the rights of inmates are disregarded. It’s not just a matter of poor conditions or lack of basic necessities—it's about the systematic violations of the very amendments designed to protect the rights of every person in this country, including those behind bars. The First Amendment Violations One of the most immediate and personal impacts has been the violation of the First Amendment rights of inmates. The First Amendment protects freedom of speech, expression, and association. However, my husband’s visitation privileges were abruptly revoked, with no clear explanation or due process. Initially, he was granted video visits, only for them to be suddenly and ...

When someone you love is incarcerated, it’s easy to feel powerless against the system. The rules, regulations, and red tape can be overwhelming, leaving you wondering how you can protect your loved one's rights and help them navigate this challenging time. But you’re not powerless. By becoming informed and proactive, you can advocate for your loved one and help them fight for their rights from the inside. Understanding Inmate Rights The first step in fighting for your loved one’s rights is understanding what those rights are. Inmates have specific protections under the law, despite being incarcerated. These rights include, but are not limited to, protection from cruel and unusual punishment, access to medical care, the right to practice their religion, and the right to due process in disciplinary actions. Educating yourself on these rights is crucial. A valuable resource for this is Jailhouse Law , a website dedicated to providing information about inmates' rights. They offer c...

My husband’s journey into the prison system began at just 17 years old when he was sent to a maximum security prison in Missouri. Thrown into a world of hardened criminals and violent environments, he quickly realized that survival meant adopting a "prison mentality." The influence of gangs wasn’t just pervasive—it was a way of life, a necessity for survival in a place where the weak were preyed upon, and alliances often meant the difference between life and death. At 17, my husband faced a grim reality. He was in an environment where violence, manipulation, and survival instincts ruled. The influence of gangs became part of his daily life, and he told himself that he would become a "career criminal." It was the only way he knew to cope with the harshness of his surroundings. The idea of reform or rehabilitation was not on his radar; instead, the focus was on surviving each day in an unforgiving world. One of the most shocking realizations for him was how easy it wa...

When someone we love is incarcerated, it’s easy to feel like the world has suddenly become a lot smaller. The physical distance, combined with the barriers of prison life, can create a sense of isolation for both the person behind bars and their family members. However, maintaining regular contact with your loved one during this time is not just a way to keep your relationship alive—it’s a crucial part of their rehabilitation and well-being. Staying in touch with your loved one can be a lifeline, providing them with the emotional support they need to endure the challenges of prison life. Regular phone calls, letters, and visits remind them that they are not alone, that they are loved, and that they have something to look forward to on the outside. This connection can be a powerful motivator for them to stay focused on their rehabilitation and resist the pressures that often come with incarceration. Prison is a harsh environment, and for many inmates, the temptation to use drugs or get ...

When someone we love is incarcerated, the journey doesn't stop at the prison gates. In many ways, it’s just the beginning—especially when it comes to ensuring their rights are protected and their mental health needs are met. As prison wives, partners, and family members, we become advocates, voices for those who cannot speak for themselves within a system that often overlooks or outright violates their basic rights. Staying Informed on DOC Regulations The first step in advocating for our loved ones is understanding the regulations set by the Arizona Department of Corrections (DOC). These rules dictate everything from visitation rights to the types of communication allowed, and even the healthcare inmates receive. However, these regulations can be complex and are often updated, making it crucial to stay informed. Regularly checking the DOC website, subscribing to updates, and joining support groups can help you stay on top of any changes. Knowledge is power, and the more you underst...

The 8th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution prohibits "cruel and unusual punishments." Yet, in our prisons, this right is often disregarded. Overcrowding, inadequate medical care, excessive use of force, and dehumanizing conditions are just a few of the ways inmates' rights are violated every day. When we think of the 8th Amendment, we often imagine extreme cases of physical abuse, but the reality is far more pervasive. Consider this: denying inmates access to proper healthcare—whether for physical ailments or mental health needs—can be a form of cruel and unusual punishment. Allowing the spread of violence, turning a blind eye to sexual assault, and forcing people to live in unsanitary, dangerous conditions are all violations of this constitutional right. As someone who once worked on the inside and now stands on the outside advocating for change, I've witnessed firsthand how these violations aren't just isolated incidents. They are symptoms of a broken system tha...

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute." – Proverbs 31:8 In the shadows of the prison system, where the voices of inmates often go unheard, the influence of the outside world remains a powerful beacon of hope. Today, I share a recent, personal ordeal that underscores the urgent need for external advocacy and the profound impact it can have on the lives of those behind bars. Recently, my husband, Ryan, suffered a brutal attack by another inmate, an incident that left him hospitalized with a crushed eye socket and requiring stitches—a stark reminder of the dangers that inmates face daily. This violent encounter stemmed from a denied request for an Immediate Healthcare Plan (IHP), which if granted, might have prevented this assault. During his recovery, Ryan faced another challenge: a lack of communication tools due to a reported "tablet shortage" in the facility. This barrier prevented him from contacting his famil...

"Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." – Galatians 6:2 The prison environment is often discussed in terms of physical barriers and legal proceedings, but the psychological walls it erects can be just as daunting and destructive. Today, I explore the often-overlooked aspect of mental health within prisons, illuminated through my dual lens as a former correctional officer and as a prison wife. The daily life of an inmate is riddled with challenges that extend beyond the visible confines of cell blocks and security checkpoints. The constant stress, isolation, and uncertainty can lead to profound psychological distress. For many, like my husband Ryan, the struggle is a silent battle against both the system and the stigma associated with mental health issues. Mental Health Challenges Faced by Inmates: Stress and Anxiety: The pervasive uncertainty about future prospects, safety concerns, and the strain of confinement contribute significantly to mental heal...

I am the wife of a prisoner, they call me by name, They judge me, label me, and question my claim. To love a man in orange, shackled and confined, But they don't see the heart, the soul, the mind. Behind those bars, beyond that cold steel gate, Lives a man I know, who holds my fate. They see only the uniform, the crime, the past, But I see the love, the hope, the change that will last. I advocate for justice, for the truth to be told, For a system that’s broken, cruel, and cold. They ask me why I stand by his side, But they don't know the battles, the tears we've cried. I know the man behind the orange, the one who’s kind, Who dreams of freedom, of leaving the past behind. He’s more than a number, more than a mistake, He’s the man who makes my heart ache. The world may judge, may cast their stones, But they don’t know the love that’s grown. In their eyes, he's just an inmate, a case, a crime, But in mine, he's my forever, my love, my time. So I stand tall, despite t...

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." — Joshua 1:9 In today’s post, I delve into a personal aspect of my journey—life as a prison wife to Ryan, intertwined with the knowledge I gained from working within the very system that now holds him. This dual perspective brings unique challenges and insights, painting a raw picture of love and resilience in the face of a deeply flawed system. Becoming a prison wife after serving as a correctional officer has opened my eyes to the contradictions and injustices that pervade the prison environment. Knowing the inner workings, the politics, and the undercurrents of corruption exacerbates the worry and frustration that come with each day Ryan spends behind bars. Each morning begins with an undercurrent of anxiety. The routine calls that bridge our worlds are both a lifeline and a reminder of the miles and bars between us. These calls are our moments of no...

"Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.” - Isaiah 1:17 Welcome back to our series. Today, we're examining a critical yet frequently misunderstood aspect of the prison system: rehabilitation programs. Drawing from my dual perspective as a former correctional officer and now a prison wife, I've witnessed firsthand the disparity between the intended purpose of these programs and their actual implementation. Let's explore the reality behind these rehabilitation efforts and discuss why they often fall short of their promises. Rehabilitation programs in prisons are often touted as pathways to a better life post-release, encompassing educational courses, vocational training, and substance abuse counseling. Despite their potential, a significant disconnect exists between the program goals and their practical outcomes. Studies and statistics reveal a grim picture of underfunded and understaffed in...

This blog is a journey—my journey from being a correctional officer to becoming a prison wife, and now, an advocate for change within the very system I once served. Through these posts, I aim to peel back the curtain on the realities of the U.S. prison system, share my personal experiences, and explore how we can push for meaningful reform together. Years ago, I stepped into a role that I thought was just another job. As a correctional officer, I believed I was part of a system that kept people safe by keeping "bad" people away. But as I walked the cell blocks and talked to the men behind bars, I saw more than criminals; I saw human beings with stories, families, and often, a deep sense of regret and a desire for redemption. My perspective shifted even more dramatically when I fell in love with one of them. He wasn’t just a number or a case file; he was, and is, the love of my life. Our journey together has opened my eyes to the profound flaws and failures of the prison syste...

The early days of our relationship were anything but easy. Falling in love with someone behind bars is not something you can prepare for, and every day felt like navigating uncharted territory. Yet, despite the challenges, our bond only grew stronger. After deciding to leave my job as a correctional officer, I was filled with both relief and fear. Relief because I could finally let myself love freely, without the constraints of my professional role. Fear because I was stepping into a world of uncertainty, where judgment from others was inevitable, and the path ahead was anything but clear. But the reality of those early days was even harsher than I anticipated. Ryan and I didn’t get to speak after I quit. In fact, the prison tried to get him to say that I was "coming on to him," and they opened a PREA investigation against me. For those unfamiliar, the Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA) is a federal law designed to prevent, detect, and respond to sexual abuse and harassment i...

Butterflies in His Eyes It’s been almost two years, yet every glance feels new, Like a high school girl in love, every time I look at you. I see your photo, and my heart begins to race, Butterflies flutter wildly, just from your face. Through all the trials we've faced, through every storm and strife, You remain my breath, my calm, the center of my life. Your eyes hold a world where only we exist, In those moments, I forget to breathe, caught up in your mist. The way you look at me, the way you see my soul, Makes everything else fade; you make me feel whole. I catch my breath, remind myself to breathe, For in your gaze, it’s so easy to believe. That love like ours is timeless, beyond all space and time, Two years, two lifetimes, still, you’re only mine. And though I must wait for you, through prison’s heavy door, My love will never waver, it’s you I adore. I will always be faithful, my heart belongs to you, There’s no other soul mine will ever connect to. Captivated by you, I’m for...

Prison Wife In the quiet of the night, I feel your absence deep, Yet my heart whispers softly, "It's always You, my keep." I am the light, steady and true, burning bright, You, my love, are the dark, but together, we're just right. You told me once, you love the moths, drawn to the flame, From shadows, they come, no fear, no shame. You’re the moth to my fire, seeking warmth in my glow, And I promise, my love, I will never let go. Though bars and walls stand tall, trying to keep us apart, They can never touch the love that lives within my heart. Five years may stretch long, but I'll wait through it all, For you are my reason, my rise, and my fall. No one can sever the bond that we've made, Through darkness and light, together we've stayed. So, my love, don't fear, I am forever your flame, And when you return, it will be just the same. It's always been you, from the start till the end, My lover, my partner, my very best friend. So rest easy, my moth,...