From Guard to Wife: My Journey in the Shadows of the Justice System

When we pay taxes, a portion of those funds is allocated to maintaining and operating the prison system. In theory, this money is meant to ensure that inmates are housed in secure facilities, receive proper care, and have access to programs that aid in their rehabilitation and eventual reintegration into society. However, the reality of where this money goes and how it's used can be quite different, often raising serious ethical and humanitarian concerns. The Ideal vs. The Reality Taxpayers fund a broad range of expenses within the prison system, including: Facility Operations: Maintaining the buildings, utilities, and security systems. Staff Salaries: Paying correctional officers, healthcare staff, and administrative personnel. Inmate Care: Providing food, healthcare, clothing, and hygiene products. Rehabilitation Programs: Offering education, vocational training, and substance abuse programs. Security: Ensuring the facility is safe and secure for both staff and inmates. Howe...

As of today, the countdown stands at 5 years, 1 month, 16 days, and 10 hours until my husband comes home. Some days, that time feels like an eternity—like the wait will never end. Yet, I hold on to the belief that this waiting, this space between now and our reunion, is a testament to the true love we share. The image above says it all: "Waiting is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say 'I love you,' but not everyone can wait and prove it's true." I can’t think of a more fitting quote for this chapter of our lives. We live in a world that often demands instant gratification, but love—real, unconditional love—doesn’t operate on a timeline of convenience. It requires patience, endurance, and the faith to believe that even in the longest, hardest days, the bond between us is only growing stronger. The Reality of the Countdown It’s no secret that my husband and I have a long road ahead. Over 5 years might seem like a countdown that stretches into forever. S...

To Whom It May Concern, I am writing to express my deep concerns about the ongoing corruption and negligence within the prison system, specifically regarding the treatment of my husband, Ryan Epperson, who is currently serving a 7-year sentence for drug-related offenses. Ryan is battling addiction and should be receiving the help and rehabilitation he desperately needs, not being placed in environments that further perpetuate the cycle of substance abuse and institutionalization. Prior to Ryan’s sentencing, while he was still in county jail, I worked diligently with Spectrum and Momentum to get him diagnosed and approved for inpatient rehab. This program would have given Ryan the chance to get clean and receive the treatment he so desperately needs. However, despite all of these efforts, the prosecutor refused to allow this option, even denying any bond reduction or paper bond that would have permitted Ryan to attend rehab. It is beyond comprehension that in all of Ryan’s drug-related ...

After weeks of waiting in uncertainty and fear, my husband was finally transferred to a new yard. This transfer followed an attack by another inmate that left him injured and in need of medical attention. Instead of receiving the care and support he should have in the days leading up to his transfer, his treatment worsened. What followed was a situation that sheds light on the broken system of inmate care and a gross violation of his rights as a human being. The Night of His Arrival: Inhumane Treatment When my husband and his cellmate arrived at the new yard, they immediately asked the prison staff for mats to sleep on—something that seems like a basic necessity. Their request was not just ignored, but they ended up spending the night in a cell with nothing but metal bunks beneath them. No mats, no pillows, and only a thin prison-issued blanket that provided no comfort, warmth, or protection from the cold hard surface of the bunks. Can you imagine that? You’ve just been transferred aft...

When it comes to the prison system, especially private prisons, we are often told that the goal is rehabilitation and safety. But the truth is much darker and more complex. The reality of the private prison system is that it's a business, first and foremost—a business driven by profit, not by the well-being of those inside. In private prisons, inmates become dollar signs. The more bodies they can house, the more money these corporations make. This creates a system where rehabilitation, treatment, and even basic care take a back seat to profit margins. The difficulties in getting help within these prisons are staggering: Medical and Mental Health Care Is Neglected One of the most significant issues in private prisons is the lack of adequate medical and mental health care. You’d think that with the money funneled into these facilities, the inmates would have access to quality care. Instead, many inmates are denied necessary medications, mental health treatments, and substance use dis...

Being a prison wife isn’t just a title—it’s a world of its own. It’s a life with a rhythm and set of rules that outsiders will never fully understand. You learn things that most people couldn’t even imagine being part of their daily lives, and you adapt because you love someone behind those bars. When your loved one is "set up" at a prison where they'll stay for a while, you learn that if you don’t hear from them for more than a day, they’re probably in "the hole." And then, all you can do is wait—sometimes days, sometimes weeks—until you get a kite, that little handwritten note, or a delayed call that says they’re okay. If they’re going to be transferred to another yard, you know that 4:30 am is roll-up time . If you don't get that early morning call, you’re glued to the DOC website, checking for any sign of movement. If texts don’t come through, you know the tablet communication system is down again. At first, every silence feels like a red flag. You panic...

It’s Monday morning, and let’s be honest—coffee isn’t enough today. I need to be struck by lightning, or at least something powerful enough to jolt me out of this overwhelming stress and exhaustion. As I sit here, waiting on a response from the warden about my husband's medical care, his denied Bible, his need for a transfer to the right yard for protection, and his access to a rehabilitation program that actually works, I feel the weight of everything. There are so many unknowns. I’m constantly thinking about the drugs flooding the prison, brought in by staff, while my husband—a recovering addict—is left to fight his demons without the medication-assisted treatment (MAT) he so desperately needs. How is anyone supposed to rehabilitate in a system like this? It feels like the odds are stacked against him, and by extension, against us. On top of that, I’ve got my own battles. I’m anxiously waiting for my court date on the 16th, trying to keep my head above water while starting over f...

Being with someone who is incarcerated isn’t just hard—it’s emotionally exhausting, lonely, and overwhelming. For those of us standing on the outside, there are days when fear, doubt, and stress consume us. We wonder: Are they being honest with me over the phone? Are they using again? Are they staying out of trouble? The questions never stop, and neither do the worries. We carry the weight of supporting ourselves, while also trying to support them financially. It often feels like the responsibility doubles, and sometimes we wonder if they expect it or even appreciate it. But then comes the biggest question of all— Is it worth it? YES! A thousand times yes! Because the person you love, the one you chose to stand by, is worth it . And the love you share makes it worth it . Being a prison wife is hard. Being the wife of a recovering addict is even harder—especially knowing that prisons are filled with the same drugs that nearly took them away from us. The fear that the drugs will pull th...

  In your eyes, I find my grace, A love so deep, no time can erase. You treat me like a queen, so rare, With every touch, you show you care. A true gentleman, through and through, You make me feel cherished in all you do. In your arms, I feel so safe, With you, my love, there's no mistake. You see my beauty, inside and out, In your love, I have no doubt. The way you honor me, pure and sweet, A respect so strong, no one can beat. You treat me like your precious Queen, And you, my love, will always reign as my King. Forever, I will love and cherish you, For no man could ever compare to what you do. I wish every woman could know this bliss, The magic in every gentle kiss. The way you make me feel adored, A love that leaves me wanting more. I hope the world can see your grace, How you uplift me in every space. Every man could learn from you, How to love a woman, pure and true. For in your love, I am complete, A bond that no one can defeat. No one will ever take your place, You are my K...

When a loved one is incarcerated, staying connected becomes not just a matter of emotional support but also a financial burden. The price of simply talking, texting, or sending a message to someone inside the system is outrageous, and the financial weight of it all falls squarely on the shoulders of the families who are already suffering. We’ve all heard the phrase “doing time,” but what we rarely talk about is how much it costs for families to stay connected while our loved ones are locked away. Let’s break it down: Phone Calls : If your loved one is in county jail, it costs $0.23 per minute to talk to them. That means a 15-minute call costs $3.45. Move them to prison, and the rate drops to $0.06 per minute , but don’t forget that every time you purchase minutes, you’re hit with fees and taxes that add an extra $3.50 or more to each transaction. So even though the rate per minute may seem affordable, the fees quickly add up. Text Messages : The tablets inmates use might look like a ...

Advocating for a loved one who is incarcerated can be one of the most challenging experiences a family can face. The prison system often seems impenetrable, with layers of bureaucracy, neglect, and, in some cases, retaliation. The fight for adequate medical care and mental health support is a constant battle for many families, and it’s a battle that can feel overwhelming. When someone you love is incarcerated, you expect that they will at least receive basic medical treatment and mental health care. However, many inmates struggle with untreated or inadequately managed mental health conditions, substance use disorders, and the trauma that comes with being institutionalized. For too many, the system neglects these needs, leaving them vulnerable to further harm. The Challenges of Getting Proper Medical and Mental Health Care Many incarcerated individuals suffer from severe substance use disorders (SUDs), mental health conditions such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depr...

Advocating for your loved one on the outside is hard enough, but what makes it even more difficult is the retaliation that often happens to them on the inside. It’s one of the harshest realities for families who are trying to do the right thing—supporting their loved ones, standing up for their rights, and ensuring they’re treated fairly. Unfortunately, this advocacy can sometimes result in the exact opposite: mistreatment, rude comments, withholding of personal items, and deliberate ignorance from the staff. Just yesterday, my husband, Ryan, experienced this firsthand. When Ryan received his personal property, including his wedding ring and a receipt for both the ring and his Bible, the correctional officer informed him that he couldn’t have his Bible because it was a hardback. This wouldn’t seem like a huge issue to most, but for Ryan—who is currently in protective custody due to being attacked by another inmate—it’s a direct deprivation of a crucial source of spiritual support. I be...

Recidivism—the tendency of a convicted individual to reoffend—is a critical issue in our prison system. But here’s the harsh reality that many people outside the system don’t realize: a staggering percentage of the drugs that fuel addiction inside prisons are brought in and distributed by the very staff who are supposed to be upholding the law. This isn’t just speculation—I’ve seen it firsthand. The prison where my husband is incarcerated is riddled with Fentanyl, a drug that destroys lives, a drug that nearly took my husband's life before. As a recovering addict, he fights daily against the temptation and the demons that come with it. But here’s the added layer of frustration: the prison system refuses to help him with a Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT) program, despite our numerous pleas. They say prison is about rehabilitation, but how can that be true when the very substances that destroy lives are easier to get behind bars than on the streets? I’ve watched this cycle play o...

Trust. It’s the foundation of any relationship, but when your husband is incarcerated, trust becomes both a lifeline and a battlefield. I’ll admit it—I struggled when my husband went back in. I wasn’t just sad; I was angry, resentful, and, if I’m being honest, I almost hated him for putting us in this situation. It felt like everything we had worked for was shattered, like we were back at square one, and I couldn’t see past the pain and frustration. But then I had to ask myself—where does the blame game get me? Where does it get us? We were already in a tough spot, and pointing fingers wasn’t going to make it any better. So, I stopped. I took a deep breath and asked myself the questions that really mattered. Do I love him? I mean, truly love him like I said I did when I turned my world completely upside down to be with him? Is he still that man I saw behind the orange suit and DOC number? Is he worth my trust, my loyalty, my faithfulness, my devotion, ME? Absolutely. Everyone e...

  Between the Walls In these cold, concrete walls, where shadows reign, I fight a war within, battling the pain. Drugs all around me, whispers in the air, Temptation’s a beast, but I try to stay aware. Your letters, your voice, they keep me from the edge, In a world built to break me, you’re my only pledge. I’m trying to stay sober, but it’s a constant fight, When darkness surrounds me, you’re my guiding light. It’s hard to stay true in a place so cold, Where you have to be tough, you have to be bold. The man I was outside, he’s fading fast, I’m forced to wear this mask, a role I didn’t cast. To survive in here, I’ve had to change my ways, Think like a hardened soul, count down the days. Institutionalized, I learn to play the game, But deep down inside, I’m not the same. I can’t live two lives, can’t be both men, The one inside these walls, and the one I was back then. It’s killing me slowly, piece by piece, But your love is the only thing that brings me pe...

  For anyone with a loved one behind bars, those precious moments on the phone are like lifelines. It’s a brief escape from the harsh reality of prison life, a chance to hear the voice of someone you love, and to remind each other that you’re still connected, no matter the distance. But then, just as you’re getting into the conversation, you hear those dreaded words: "You've got 1 minute remaining." In that moment, everything changes. Time suddenly feels like it’s slipping through your fingers, and you’re faced with the harsh reality that this connection, this brief moment of normalcy, is about to be cut short. The clock is ticking, and you have to make the most of what little time you have left. When that warning comes, there’s a sense of panic that sets in. What do you say? How do you sum up everything you want to communicate in just 60 seconds? Do you offer words of comfort, share the latest news, or simply say, "I love you" one more time? It’s an impossi...

The Prison Wife’s Vow In a world of judgment, where whispers run deep, I stand by your side, my promise to keep. Loyalty unwavering, through darkness and light, I’m devoted to you, both day and night. Behind those cold walls, where freedom’s denied, I carry our love with honor and pride. Honesty guides us, no secrets to hide, In truth, we find strength, with nothing to divide. They may see the bars, the sentence, the shame, But I see the man, beyond just a name. Devotion like mine, they can never understand, For I am your wife, and you are my man. Through every trial, I remain steadfast, Our bond is unbreakable, built to last. No distance, no time, can weaken our ties, For in my heart, your love never dies. So, I stand tall, with my head held high, Faithful and true, as the days pass by. For I am your prison wife, loyal and strong, Together we’ll endure, where we belong. Written by ~ DeAnna Epperson

As I sit here on this Sunday, reflecting on the past week, my mind is flooded with the frustrations and drama that seem to have become all too familiar. It’s been a week filled with moments where I’ve been reminded, sometimes painfully, just how mean and cruel people can be to one another. The temptation to retaliate, to strike back with the same venom that has been directed at me and my husband—the man I protect the most—has been strong. But deep down, I know that two wrongs do not make a right. The truth is, life is full of challenges, and people will wrong us in ways that are sometimes difficult to understand or forgive. It’s human nature to want to defend ourselves, to respond to cruelty with the same harshness, and to let anger guide our actions. But as I reflect today, I’m reminded of the importance of stopping, refocusing, and choosing the higher path. When someone wrongs us, especially when they target the people we love most, our first instinct is often to retaliate, to make t...